Blog is Done for Now

Why!!!? I Know I know, but I was a retarded eighth grader when I wrote this. Now I'm a sophomore I'm too old for this nonsence. Okay I'll do it when I make a better movie, but for know go to my new blog for my bands. I'll post the sight later.

Crazyness

New Bulawayo

This is a picture of some zombie smoking and riding bikes.

Dave

This is a picture of the guy I want to be like when I grow up. His name is Dave and I think it's because he shoots like Davy Crockett. Dave is probably six years old and can shoot like a thirty-seven year old. I love him dearly. The other day I way running away from an army of zombies, when Dave jumped out from behind a bush and killed them all with a couple bb guns! Dave is my hero and my life saver. If there is a person like Dave you know. Mail them to me. I'm planning an army of Daves. I call it, "Dave Army." This is great.!

It's an Audio Post! YIPEE KAYO and YIPEE KAYA

Oh my Gosh. Gee Wilikers. Gee Manee or Jimminy Christmas. It's Here. My Movie is finally here.

Go get your popcorn and your Coke, and sit back and watch the show. Note to viewers: Movie quality isn't that great,if you have an old monitor. Sound gets off the movie every now and then, so you'll have to pause it for about 5 seconds, and then press play again. If you want you can go to googlevideo by pressing the button on the botto of the movie player. Then you can press smooth video and play it smoothly.

Call 911! Nevermind.

Today, I was walkin down the street minding my own business, when this zombie came out of nowhere, and tried to attack me. I was thinkin, I really have bad luck with these crazy dead people. Well, good thing I always carry a Molotov cocktail with me. 1................ 2................ 3..................... crack. That was a good one. A little too good. I hope nobody thinks somebody that matters is getting hurt. Oh crap here come the fire and the police department. " Sir did you set this man on fire," the police officer said.
"It' just a zombie, " I replied. "
Aw crap we came all the way here for this." He said.
"Yep, I guess you should charge the retard that called," I said.
" That'll work for me," the policeman said.
"Not for me," said someone behind us. It was Kurt Cobain.
"I thought you died." No that was just someone who looked like me." He said.
" Man am I relieved. I thought you were dead."
" Yeah, you just killed one of my actors."
"What?" I said.
"Well I'm tiring to direct a movie about how zombies and humans always fight and how the humans usually succeed. Thank you very much, for burning that man."
" No problem, I do it all the time."
"Hey I'm broke, you're gonna have to pay for that 911 call."
" I still have another Molotov." I said.
" You know what tons of money just appeared in my wallet." Said Kurt.
"Good." I said.
And that's the day Kurt Cobain was rediscovered. THE END

What Happened and Where am I?

"Why am I hearing my own thoughts, why can't I see, and where the heck am I......? Oh no it wasn't a bad dream. It's all real. I guess that means I'm in the mall. Lets see, that means I was running away from the zombies, found the passageway that lead to here, but were am I? Oh yeah, I right were I started. That means.......oh crap. Oh no. I must have fainted. Then I fell back into the tunnel. That explains why I can't see. Well I need to find another way out of here.........I know. The entrance. But how do I get out. Where is out. And how long have I been out." "Gblasssbiahasasaasasd Dasaghsasaassssssssssssssssssssssssssss." Well that's Lispy I must have been out long enough for him to get all the way downstairs. Well so much for the entrance idea. I could go back to JC Penny, and hope there's a way off the roof. Wait. Why didn't I think of it before. THE FIRE ESCAPE. Alright, time for my creepy decent down the dark freaky passageway. Finally, I'm there. Now find the roof exit before they find me. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........ACE Hardware. Perfect, they've got everything. Here we go the roof exit. There's the fire escape. Perfect, nothing could go wrong now. Ah crap were did I park.

Zombie Mall

Today, I was shopping in the local mall, when the thing that happens in all zombie movies occurred. All of the sudden zombies just started storming in. It just so happened I wore sandals that day. What a great day to wear sandals. I picked up my bad luck and ran for my dear life. They were fast zombies. I hate fast zombies, and I hate sandals. I ran upstairs. They ran upstairs. I took the elevator to the top. Eventually the got to the top, using the stairs. I ran into a JC Penny maintenance room, and locked the door. Nevermind the door didn't lock. I ran for my life looking for a way out. I found an exit, right when they came through the door. There it was a trapdoor in the floor of a closet. I climbed down the stairs, and shut the door behind me. It was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. Being in a dark tunnel, not knowing were to go, and zombies screaming above you. The humor of the situation is, that one of the zombies, had a lisp. He sounded like, " Ggblasksssssbasabaaaasbasklsks blasksba." I finally felt my way through the tunnel. It took forever, but I finally got there. The moment of truth were does this door go to. Ah crap, it ends up in the middle of the zombie infested mall, right were I started. To bad I don't have shoes. (to be continued)

That Crazy Kidder

Old Man (or Woman)

Today, I slept all day, because of my tiring day yesterday on the bus. I guess I started dreaming, if not that was the wierdest day of my life. I dreamed of this weird lady or man, dancing around a mountain for four hours. This old somebody was wearing red athletic shorts and a neon green, orange, and purple jacket. I'm pretty sure it was a woman, but you never know. After I met her or him, I went to a Hawaiian stick throwing contest, were I got third place. I then went sky diving off Mont Rushmore into a dogs arms. His name was Dog, and he knew the lady or man I met at the beginning of the dream. It turned out it was a man named Navajo Jo Sandifer. He was a nice old fart. Then I found out he was a freak, he was sometimes a woman and sometimes a........................Then I woke up THE END of my dream.

Still Alive

Hey guys as you can read by the title I'm still alive. It's really funny how I'm still alive and almost off the bus. We were really starting to get scared, and privately discussing who looks to be the tastiest person on the bus, so we could finally eat. We found a knife on the bus, why was it on the bus, no clue. So, we get ready to, well, take him out, and he turns around and about has a heart attack and starts running around the bus screaming like a second grade girl. After an hour of screaming, he finally found the lever to open the emergency in the roof. He climbs out, it's pitch black, so, we can only hear him. He starts screaming again, then we hear about a hundred gblaggblaggggggggggggggg's, then silence. We all expected to wake up and find the zombie version of Tom, or whatever his name was. We woke up and looked out the window and saw..............nothing! We have no clue what happened. I will say that again, we have no clue what happened! I'm getting ready to get off now so I'll talk to you later. Like we say in Canada, adios.

Bus Attack

This my friends is a guenuine bus attack. Dogs do it, mobs do it, and of course zombies do it. Today, they all did it, at the same time!!!!!! Never before in..........ever. I am proud and scared to be the first one to tell everyone. I'm very proud, but extremely scared, because, well, i'm on the bus. It started with the mob, then came the dogs, then came the the zombies. Then the they all turned into zombies, and the only thing worse than zombies, and carnies, is zombie dog mobs. I'm writing from my PSP, luckily there's wi-fi. It's been about three hours since it started, and i'm extremely the bus doors can't be pushed open. Well if anything happens i'll tell you. Anyway, salutations my friends. Help.........Please. (to be continued)

Zombie Cave

This reminds me of my favorite song from Zombie Prom.


"FORBIDDEN LOVE.
LET THEM ALL STARE
I HAVEN'T A CARE, SINCE I FOUND YOU,
MY FORBIDDEN LOVE.
HOW COULD I NOT BE TRUE?
YOU GAVE ME MY FREEDOM,
THEN SENT ME OFF FLYING.
THERE'S NO DENYING
OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE....

JONNY
...FORBIDDEN LOVE.
LET THEM ALL LAUGH,
THEY'LL NEVER KNOW HALF THE LOVE WE KNOW,
MY FORBIDDEN LOVE.
WHERE WOULD YOU HAVE ME GO?
I'D FOLLOW YOU BLINDLY.
TOFFEE
NOW AND FOREVER.
JONNY
STRAIGHT PAST THE SUNRISE.
TOFFEE
AND ONWARD TILL MORNING.
BOTH
ALL MY DREAMS COME...

+KIDS
LET 'EM COME CAUSE WE'LL BE READY,
HANGIN' TIGHT AND HOLDIN' STEADY.
TRUE LOVE CANNOT BE HIDDEN.
LET 'EM TRY TO SWAY AND SELL US.
DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THEY TELL US.
JONNY & TOFFEE
THEY'RE ONLY JEALOUS
OF...

OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE.
LET THEM ALL LAUGH,
THEY'LL NEVER KNOW HALF THE LOVE WE KNOW,
MY FORBIDDEN LOVE.
TOFFEE
WHERE WOULD YOU HAVE ME GO?
JONNY
WHERE WOULD YOU HAVE ME GO?
TOFFEE
I'D FOLLOW YOU BLINDLY.
JONNY
NOW AND FOREVER.

TOFFEE
STRAIGHT PAST THE SUNRISE.
JONNY
AND ONWARD TILL MORNING.
BOTH
ALL OF MY DREAMS COME TRUE.
JONNY
ALL MY DREAMS...
TOFFEE
TO THE DAWN...
JONNY
EVERMORE...
TOFFEE
ON AND ON...
BOTH
MY FORBIDDEN LOVE."

Forklift Shmorklift

A local Talahatye man was under attack by zombies, when he wrecked the companies forklift. He was just minding his own business, when he was attacked by fierce zombies. He tried to run away on the forklift but forgot to look where he was going and wrecked the forklift. His adrenaline kicked in long enough to tie a noose and hang himself before the zombies killed him. Policeman, Ron Schousiffer said," In my thirty years of zombie victim suicide research, I've never heard of a man tie a noose and hang himself so quickly. The suicide victim's family will have to pay for the forklift and the funeral. What a costly mistake the man made. If only he would have let them eat him, zombie insurance would have taken over. Moral of the story: don't kill yourself.

*No real names were used in this story.

Zombie

Zombie Chuck

Some people say, " zombies aren't real." If zombies aren't real, then why is Chuck Norris wearing glasses that have the word zombie on them. THE END.

Cheekless Wonder

This picture is of a guy I saw on the streets, yes he is a zombie, or was. Other zombies ate his cheek off, and tried to finish him off, and did actually finish him off. This is the first case of zombies eating other zombies. No one knows why they just did. It's fine with me if they just keep eating them, then they will be occupied with other things, and not eating me.

Oops

Today a tragic life ending mistake occurred, when a local painter had just got done painting an apartment right above a music store and came out and wammo right in the neck. He had a rough day, spilling a bucket of paint on his face, and almost falling off a ladder. When he came out some retard mistook him as a zombie and, well as you can see he launched a CD at him, slicing his throat. " I thought he was zombie," said the local CD murderer. Well you thought wrong boy, and your decision is sending you straight to JAIL.

Atomic Llama

Today Russian scientist agreed with the rest of the world that the zombie problem in Russia was way too high , and that they could drop atomic bombs on the heavily zombie populated areas. They evacuated all the people, well all the people that hadn't already died once. They dropped the bombs and the mission was a success. They got pictures back of the explosions, and if you look really close, you can see the vague look of a llama. I was amazed. If you can't see it it's okay it takes a while. THE END

Two Retards and a Zombie Trailer

Crazy Squirrel

I know what you all are thinking. He's gonna write a story about a zombie squirrel. Well I'm not. I just saw this squirrel eating some frogs, and I thaught it was pretty crazy. THE END................................

Holy Crap

Yesterday at about one o-clock in the afternoon I went over to my friends house. We were playing guitar, when we heard something moving around below us. I asked him if he had a basement and he said,"no." We just kept playing, until we heard it again later. "Whatever that is, is getting on my nerves," I said. We ended up going outside where a opening that went under the house was. We crawled under and found hundreds of human skulls! We called the cops, and they came over to investigate, and found the noise machine a zombie. They ended up shooting the crap out of it and chopping his head off. Police are still trying to figure out if the problem has happened before, or a serial killer got bitten by a zombie on one of his kills. I say who cares, at least its dead. My friends left the house that day, and I still don't know were they went.

Zombie Godzirra

American scientists recently figured out that Godzilla, or as known in Japan Godzirra, has at least two percent zombie blood. They couldn't give away too much information but they did allow people to ask questions about the subject. Some of the most asked questions are. Is he slowly dieing from a mere zombie bite? How the heck did scientists get a blood sample? Where is the zombie-beast now? Is this the beginning of WorldWarIII? But who would ever know, besides God and Godzilla himself, and maybe a few scientists.

Conroe Zombo Bunny

My cousins from Texas Came to my house today and told me the most outrageous story. They were sitting outside at what they call the Peanut butter Festival, and it just so happens that everyone dresses up as a bunny. Anyway, they were talkin to someone about there favorite basketball team, and this crazy man comes up and bites one of there friends. If you haven't figured out yet the man was a zombie. Anyhow, that was my cousins very best friend, and my cousin is about seven foot tall ,and 357 pounds, so he falls on the zombie and kills him. No more Conroe Zombo.

Scuba Zombie

My friend went to Australia, to go scuba diving along the Great Barrier reef. After he got his equiptment, they snorkeled really far out into the ocean, about two thousand five hundred and twenty-seven feet out. Anyway when they got there they turned the air on, and started the decent to the bottom of the reef. When the reached the bottom, they did a headcount to make sure everyone was there. When the instructor counted the number of heads, he quickly found out there were to many people. It freaked him out at first, but then he decided he must have miscounted the people to begin with. They dived for about two hours and then snorkeled back to shore, were they found out who the extra man was. Steve Glertaf!!!!!!!! "Steve Glertaf, no it can't be he died years ago!" "Gghagaguygrrrrrrrglagdghghg," said Steve. "Holy crap he's a zombie. "Kill 'em blokes." And that's the day the famous Steve Glertaf died. THE END

What in the World

This has nothing to do with zombies, I just saw this guy on the street, and he was amazing. I don't know how he levitated upside down, but it was pretty amazing. Anywho that's what happened today.

Undercover Ops

eea92

Today I had to go to a chili supper at the high school. As I was walking I noticed that everyone going into the high school was dressed up. Why, I have no clue. Anyway I drove back home to get some nice cloths on, and when I got back to the school I noticed everybody was running out of the building screaming. I asked a woman what happened and she just stopped and screamed, and then ran. Then I realized, wow, I am so stupid why didn't I realize what they were running from. After all my experiences I should have realized somebody got scolding hot chili poured on them. Ok, ok, there were zombies chasing them. Anyway I end up hiding in a rose bush, which hurt really bad, and they walked past me. Didn't even notice me, someone called 911, the police came, and everyone ended up nice and peach. The End, story over. Hopefully no more stories, but it just seems like the zombies are following me. I don't really no why they just are. The End.......................

Tornado Ahhhhhlley

After my very scary adventure with the great Utahian beast I was driving back to Illinois, when I saw this huge tornado. I guess I was in Kansas or somewhere in tornado alley. Anyway I had never seen a tornado before so, I decided to film it. I was looking through my viewfinder at the marvelous sight when this woman (or man) jumped right in the picture and started gnawing on the camcorder. I knew I didn't have a chance with this crazy old woman (or man), so I just ran away to my car. I hoped in and closed the door, because I knew if I didn't act fast I would be zombie food. She (or he) was banging on the window to try and get me. I was scared to death. Not because of the zombie, but the mile wide tornado. Nothing went right that day, zombie, tornado, couldn't find my car keys. I had to sit in a car with a zombie banging on my door and tornado coming straight at me. What did I do next? Nothing. I've heard of people surviving tornadoes without a scratch. Anyway the tornado flipped my car and totaled it, but hey I left that day alive, and zombie free, (or so I thought for the third time).

Two Retards and a Zombie Trailer

Fierce Utahian Zombie Dog

When I left Mexico I went ahead and flew north to Utah. I decided to go skiing on the slopes of Navajo Mountain, because of coarse that's were all the pros ski. As I was riding on the ski lift, I noticed what looked like a dog in a lot of pain. I decided I would try to help it. When I got to the top of the mountain, I skied down to help the dog. When I reached the dog, it turned around and gave me the look you see in the picture. I jumped, no fell back and tried to ski back down away from the beast, but it being a huge dog it outran me and tackled me. If you've ever seen those movies where they roll down a snowy and turn into a ginormous snowball and roll all the way downhill until they hit a tree, this was nothing like that. Well except for the hitting the tree part. It hurt pretty bad, but I was so scared it didn't matter. Anyway I climbed the tree high enough so the beast couldn't touch me, and waited for it to go away. That didn't take long because it just so happened that a skiing class skied right past the tree. And of course you know what they say two heads are better than one. I climbed down and lived happily ever after, (At least for that day).

Zombie Protest

Three days after I encountered the zombie in Mexico, some of the tourist demanded that zombies be taken out of our society. As one encouraged on the streets, while speaking in an Irish accent, " The zombies have no rights, the zombies have no will, they shall be cleansed from our world, and from our lives. " After he made the speech he rallied up about fourty-seven people, and then they punched out some car windows. Three hours later, one of them was sniped by the Salvation Army. The rest of the surviving raliers made signs and protested the Salvation Army.

Los Zombios

I'm writing from Mexico to tell you about the zombie sighting I sighted today. I was eating food with mucha senoritas, but had to leave to go to the restroom. On my way, a waiter stopped me. It turned out that the dinner he was serving was me!! He went for my neck, so I gave him the 'ol Chuck Norris rundhouse kick to te face!! The force sent his head over the treetops and into the jaguar pit. So I wiped the sweat from my brow, and then I wiped the crap from my butt. Hasta luego homies.

The Day That Changed My Life

Today I woke up, ate some wheaties, and went outside where I saw the strangest thing; A long-haired guy with a plaid shirt, and a crazy limp running (limping) at me. To make a long story short I peed my pants and ran for my life.