Fierce Utahian Zombie Dog

When I left Mexico I went ahead and flew north to Utah. I decided to go skiing on the slopes of Navajo Mountain, because of coarse that's were all the pros ski. As I was riding on the ski lift, I noticed what looked like a dog in a lot of pain. I decided I would try to help it. When I got to the top of the mountain, I skied down to help the dog. When I reached the dog, it turned around and gave me the look you see in the picture. I jumped, no fell back and tried to ski back down away from the beast, but it being a huge dog it outran me and tackled me. If you've ever seen those movies where they roll down a snowy and turn into a ginormous snowball and roll all the way downhill until they hit a tree, this was nothing like that. Well except for the hitting the tree part. It hurt pretty bad, but I was so scared it didn't matter. Anyway I climbed the tree high enough so the beast couldn't touch me, and waited for it to go away. That didn't take long because it just so happened that a skiing class skied right past the tree. And of course you know what they say two heads are better than one. I climbed down and lived happily ever after, (At least for that day).

Zombie Protest

Three days after I encountered the zombie in Mexico, some of the tourist demanded that zombies be taken out of our society. As one encouraged on the streets, while speaking in an Irish accent, " The zombies have no rights, the zombies have no will, they shall be cleansed from our world, and from our lives. " After he made the speech he rallied up about fourty-seven people, and then they punched out some car windows. Three hours later, one of them was sniped by the Salvation Army. The rest of the surviving raliers made signs and protested the Salvation Army.

Los Zombios

I'm writing from Mexico to tell you about the zombie sighting I sighted today. I was eating food with mucha senoritas, but had to leave to go to the restroom. On my way, a waiter stopped me. It turned out that the dinner he was serving was me!! He went for my neck, so I gave him the 'ol Chuck Norris rundhouse kick to te face!! The force sent his head over the treetops and into the jaguar pit. So I wiped the sweat from my brow, and then I wiped the crap from my butt. Hasta luego homies.

The Day That Changed My Life

Today I woke up, ate some wheaties, and went outside where I saw the strangest thing; A long-haired guy with a plaid shirt, and a crazy limp running (limping) at me. To make a long story short I peed my pants and ran for my life.