Forklift Shmorklift

A local Talahatye man was under attack by zombies, when he wrecked the companies forklift. He was just minding his own business, when he was attacked by fierce zombies. He tried to run away on the forklift but forgot to look where he was going and wrecked the forklift. His adrenaline kicked in long enough to tie a noose and hang himself before the zombies killed him. Policeman, Ron Schousiffer said," In my thirty years of zombie victim suicide research, I've never heard of a man tie a noose and hang himself so quickly. The suicide victim's family will have to pay for the forklift and the funeral. What a costly mistake the man made. If only he would have let them eat him, zombie insurance would have taken over. Moral of the story: don't kill yourself.

*No real names were used in this story.